Victims of Ourselves

Unreasonable

2012-02-17T07:31:00.000-08:00

My sis grows a year older today and i think so far she's been getting more screams and orders from my parents and brothers rather than getting pampered on her birthday. I kinda feel sad for her, coz i really wanted to do something big for her but since i had school and stuff and my mum was busy with her appointments, we decided not to.

Now, i think she's crying in the room and she's tweeting all this really angry and sad stuff about her birthday. I mean, like if i was in her position i would react and feel the same way. Getting screamed like that by my dad, wow. What a birthday for her. I wish i could do something for her now but i have no idea what. I want to console her or something but i don't think it will help. I don't want her to think that her friends are the only people she can rely on and stuff.

But whatever it is, i just hope she liked the gift i gave her and the cake. Happy 14th Birthday Nabilah <3 you know we all love you no matter what and i hope we can make you a better birthday celebration on Sunday.

We are Golden

2012-02-15T08:45:00.000-08:00

Felt like doing a post before heading to bed, so here i am. Things have been going pretty well so far with new friends, old friends and also family(: I've been studying and also watching also catching up on shows like HIMYM and Gossip girl and stuff. Spent the "study break" doing mostly that.

Anyways, in like 11 hours or less i will have to take the SQPE test and i think i'm ready since this is the first time i've completed my notes from problem 1 to 15. SO GREAT! I'M READY!

I'm also searching for a job to keep me busy during the holidays but i have NO IDEA where to start. The jobs i've gotten were all from friends. I hate interviews but most of the jobs i want will probably require for me to go through an interview ):

And ohhhh, I've been wanting to get this out but i thought maybe i was too good for them(HEHE) but here goes...I DID NOT GET INTO FOP AND I'M KINDA BUMMED ABOUT IT. There i said it. Ok maybe putting aside all the impromptu interview and me not being ready and all, but i mean like why didn't they pick me. Am i not good enough? So see, if I can't handle interviews like this, what about job interviews?

Ok enough with my blabbering. Just saying what's on my mind. Gonna head to bed now so i can wake up early and not be late for tmrw's test. Wish me luck (:

Goodnight Lovelys.

Dum..dum..dumm

2012-01-30T06:55:00.000-08:00

Things were really weird today. I was kinda upset at first with all the "not-telling" and "secret stuffs" but it turned out ok in the end. Got to clear up everything even though it was like the most awkward moment in my life. Never planned on him to find out but oh well, it was too obvious i guess.

I'm feeling good now, finally getting it off my chest. With a little help of watching 3 Idiots in class just now too, it kinda lifted my mood after the talk. Oh, and also thanks to Imran and Rachel for comforting me. You guys were great <33 Sorry to Imz for showing my ugly side sighz i so disappointed in myself.

I guess i was being too paranoid with how he might react and stuff and how awkward it would be but he took it quite well and i'm thankful for that. So, thanks to you also for being such a nice guy and handling it like a gentleman.

Anyways, i'm moving on. Afterall, we're still young and wild and free hehe. Till the next one gonna sleep.

Goodnight lovelys.

2012-01-30T06:47:00.000-08:00

Sometimes things turn out differently than the way you want it to be but you'll just have to make the best of everything.

Even the Stars they burn

2012-01-15T04:42:00.000-08:00

Another awesome cover(:

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

2012-01-15T04:35:00.000-08:00

Really nice song(:

Nothing's Gonna Stop Me

2012-01-11T03:52:00.000-08:00

Wow. It really happened. Don't really know how to react to this right now. Omgosh, I still can't believe it sighzz

Trying to be super strong, like superman! Ok that's lame but you get the idea. I just don't care anymore. Shouldn't be wasting my time being sad and all, life's too short! So I'll just be the 'happy-go-lucky' girl. Like how they say it. Not a care about what happens, I'll just go with the flow. Have to admit it though, was really kinda jealous about the way he did it. It was seriously super sweet, sighz if only it was me instead... Ok kidding (:

Just gonna move on then, since the universe won't wait for me to say something, I'll move on. I really don't know how I feel now. If I get too sad I'll just be disappointing myself coz I just don't wanna cry about it anymore.

So I can say I'm happy now. Not totally happy, but I'm good. I'm feeling this way coz he's happy, and also because I managed get through it better than how I'd expect it to be. Oh and also because I have really really great friends and I know that they would always be there for me no matter what <3

to this guy: Best wishes to the both of you, and I hope that you'll be a much more happier person when you're with her which means you'll be smiling a lot more(: so that's good right! Good luck then!

Ok, should be doing my rj but I'm doing this first. Till the next post!

Take care lovelys.

Sick

2012-01-09T06:50:00.000-08:00

So i'm sick today. Just checked my temperature and turns out i have a fever. I knew there was something wrong with me today. Anyways, i thought that today was a long day, main reason would be because i'm sick and i still had to go through HTM and Financial Accounting UT 2.

Today's lesson was a bore really. I couldn't concentrate and i only had 2 person in my team. 1 of them was kinda slacking so i only had help from one person. Didn't really prepare for UT 2 and i think i'm gonna do badly for this UT. Felt so dizzy during the UT, and i spent half the time just trying to understand the 6p given. Sigh this sucks. Whatever, I just hope at least i get a pass.

Oh yeah almost forgot, wanted to congratulate my dearest best friend, Farah, for doing really well for her 'O' Levels. 8 points is really gooood. (: So yeah, CONGRATS! Hope we meet up soon <3 Ok then, did this post just to update the blog. Gonna rest and sleep now, i hope i get better by tomorrow.

Goodnight lovelys.

Never Will

2012-01-06T04:59:00.000-08:00

Never thought I'd end up crying on the bus back. I hate it when people see me when I'm at my lowest. Never liked all those questions asking me if I'm ok or if I wanna talk about it. I just think that sometimes its just better for whatever that is making me sad to be kept inside.

I really appreciate it though when people care and comfort me. I think these type of people are really sweet. So yeah, thank you. (: but I can't really talk to anyone now. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm all alone cos I can't really share my thoughts with just anyone. It's complicated I guess.

For now, I just don't really know what to do. If I wait too long, nothing will happen for me and I'll be the one on the losing end. And I'll just be watching on the sidelines most prolly crying my eyes out sigh. I'm tired of always having to put up a front.

Ok I think I shouldn't be thinking too much about it. Whatever happens, happens. Like imran said, I'm 17, I'm still young so I shouldn't be wasting my time. And my ex-form teacher would always say "carpe diem."

Goodnight lovelys.

M.N.W.

2012-01-03T07:01:00.000-08:00

MY-NEW-WALLET. Like finally! Went to buy my wallet after school today and since Imran and Ellya were so nice, they accompanied me to get a wallet. The wallet i bought is totally different than the so-called purse i have been using and i think i have to get used to it. I feel bad though for not using the wallet Imran gave, but it's way too boyish for me. The velcro was nice though. SORRY!

Left school at around 7 and headed to Tamp with those two. I think i laughed too much in the bus, and i found out how slow some people were. HAHA. Imran insulted me so much eventhough i didn't do anything to him. Forever mean, i swear. Lolzz. We discussed more about going overseas and i think the more we talk about it, the more i want to really go. So i'm gonna start saving from now on! OK!

So, we actually went to all the malls in Tampines and it was a waste of time coz in the end i bought the wallet that we first saw before any other wallet so we had to go back again. Pfft. But anyways, thanks for accompanying guyz! Currently at home, and writing all this posts before i head to bed. So till the next one.

Goodnight lovelys.

P.S. Ignore the picture coz it has no relation to the post. I just didn't know what picture to put here.(:

The Day Before School

2012-01-03T06:48:00.000-08:00

Went out with Rachel, Imran, Leon, Ardini and Omar yesterday to have dinner! The last we met each other was during Ardini's birthday but i already missed all of them. Hehe. So it was kind of an impromptu plan made through whatsapp.

So after work, we all met at Marina Square coz the first plan was to eat at Makansutra. But we ended up deciding not to eat there and Omar drove us to Newton Circus to have a big seafood dinner. It was kind of the biggest dinner i had with them ever. It was really nice with all the fish and squid yumzz!

Oh yeah! Ardini brought her camera with the rented fish-eye lenses and it was really really cool. We kinda took a lot of pics with her camera, and we're just waiting for her to upload the rest of the photos(: Anyways, after dinner we headed to Starbucks at Novena and had a little trouble finding the parking space. And so we slacked there awhile drinking chocolate ice blended and hot chocolate and i think it was a nice drink to end the day. Reached home around 11.50plus. Thanks to Omar and Ardini for sending me home, if not i'll be home late already. Heh. :D So yeah, that's what happened the day before school started! Ok then gonna write the next post!

See ya lovelys.

New Year

2011-12-31T06:54:00.001-08:00

Can't believe in a few minutes it's going to be 2012. I think this year had gone by really fast. Currently sitting on my sofa watching the noose on channel 5. oh my god. I should be out watching fireworks with my friends. Pfft. Too bad, my dad won't allow.

I admit that this year was a really great one for me. A new life in poly, made some really awesome friends(and yes, i miss them) <3 and a whole new taste in music. Heh. So thanks guyzz, really, for making this year awesome(: Hope our friendship lasts!

So i'm looking forward to next year, because this year had been a blast. Maybe more friends, more vacations and more freedom to go out. Hehe. Ohoh, and maybe it's not too late to let out my feelings. And oh my, i'm gonna be 18 next year!

Anyways, to everyone reading, i hope all of you have a great year ahead! And to those who's out celebrating, hope you enjoy the last day of 2011.

Happy new year lovelys!

Thank the Stars

2011-12-24T06:43:00.000-08:00

Turns out I am going on a holiday yay! My family is going to drive to Kuala Lumpur tomorrow morning and I sort of can't wait coz it's been long since i went on a vacation. Yipeeeez!

It's kind of a short holiday though, a 2 day, 1 night stay there and i think it is a bit dumb to drive for 3 hours plus and only stay there for a night. But can't complain now, this is so far the best my holidays can get, so I should be thankful (:

Just finished packing my stuff and I have the urge to go swimming there. It's been like forever since I went swimming, so that is a must do there. Shopping is also a must, gonna see if there's anything nice. So yeah, basically the main point of going on this vacation is just to have fun fun fun. XD Ok then, gonna head to bed coz i have to wake up really early tomorrow. I'll be back on Monday Night i guess.

Goodnight lovelys.

Oh my...

2011-12-21T08:14:00.000-08:00

I'm so not enjoying my holidays. I never looked forward to holidays, coz these are the days where my parents would ask me to help them out at work and I AM SO LAZY. Holidays are made for people to rest and relax, not work. Zzz.

I realised that my family didn't go for any vacation this year, i think. Wow, that's boring. Sigh, i feel like strangling those people who got the chance to go overseas. Whenever I go on Facebook, I see pictures of people in London, Bali etc. I envy these people. When is it my turn to go on a holiday with my family? ):

So yeah, have been working with my parents since the start of the holidays and i dislike it. I don't even have time for myself to go out and stuff. It's kinda unfair.

Anyways, there you go, the story of my holiday life so far. Boring, i know. Too bad for me, i just hope something really good happens so that it could help brighten up my holidays a little. (:

Goodnight lovelys.

Dad's Special Day

2011-12-20T06:27:00.000-08:00

It's been 3 days since my dad's birthday, and i think he enjoyed his birthday, if we put aside the fact that he had to pay a few 100 bucks for the dinner we had at Manhattan Fish Market. :D His wish for his birthday was to be left alone, no one asking him to do anything and let him play his game. Haha.

Me, my bro and my sis had planned earlier to bake him a Red Velvet Cake for his birthday as a surprise but we decided to just get him a cake, and some mini donuts and macaroons at the side. We changed our plans coz our mum just had to spoil the surprise but its ok, it all turned out well in the end.

So we still wanted to surprise him and we kept the cake in the freezer, eventhough the cake is obviously not an ice cream cake. We ended up eating frozen cake that tasted like ice cream but wasn't an ice cream cake? o.O Mum and Dad were so sweet i have to say. Well mum was the one trying to make jokes and stuff with dad and it was kinda funny. She's still young in heart i guess heh.

After cake cutting and all, we headed to white sands to eat at Manhattan Fish Market. Ordered like 2 big size sets and we shared everything. I admit, going to Manhattan Fish Market was kinda weird coz i worked for them before and i knew what the waitress was going to say before she said it. W-E-I-R-D.

Gonna end off here then. My dad is off his com and i can play games now. Hehehe. Ok till the next one.

Goodnight lovelys.

Capture It

2011-12-16T07:16:00.000-08:00

A few photos we took yesterday(:

Joe Brooks

2011-12-16T06:50:00.000-08:00

JOE BROOKS LIVE SHOW YESTERDAY WAS AMAZING! His voice was just pure awesome live and me and my sis really enjoyed it. <33

So yeah, decided to go to school yesterday since it was the last day for the year and I managed to take a few polaroid shots with Rachel, Imran and Leon and not forgetting Vernique, Elfin, Cloe and my class! It was like breaking my own record, the most polaroid shots i took in a day! After that, i was like rushing home since the show started at 7.30pm and by the time i got home it was 6pm. Got ready and stuff and quickly rushed out of the house. I was kind of panicking through out the whole journey to Esplanade thinking that we wouldn't make it in time and they wouldn't let us in the show and stuff. Being too paranoid i guess(IMRAN'S FAULT)XD

But we did get there 3 mins before they started closing the doors so lucky us (: Really regretted not bringing a bigger lens with more zoom thing. Oh well, at least i recorded a few videos and took some pics. At the end of the show Joe Brooks was outside taking photos and signing autographs, and people were all literally running to the que. I asked my sis to run, so she did and we got quite close to the signing place and it only took us a few minutes till it was our turn. Can't believe i took a picture with JOE BROOKS <3 It's really crazy, like it's all a dream!He signed the EP i bought and tix with a heart shape. Haha, yeahh! :D But there was something wrong with the polaroid shot my sis took for me, there's a smudge or something at the side and i was kinda irritated by it at first coz i wanted the shot to be perfect. Oh well, look on the bright side, i took a picture with him!

I think more people should be aware of who Joe Brooks is, really. Coz when i'm going crazy about Joe Brooks and stuff, other people are like "Who's Joe Brooks?" So anyone who's reading this post, please do listen to Joe Brooks Music coz it's really nice. Ok then, gonna head to bed. Till the next post <3

Goodnight Lovelys

Kids

2011-12-03T06:26:00.000-08:00

After today, i realized that when i grow up and get married and have kids, i would be very strict in teaching my kids manners like to be respectful towards your elderly and stuff. But okay...not really so strict, but you get the idea of good parenting!

It was the kite flying event today, a social learning project thing organised by photo ig. So me, omar and imz had to wake up in the morning on a SATURDAY and go to school. Was really dreading getting out of bed, but since i want my CE points and i wanna play with kids, so i managed to drag myself out of bed. Hmm, so ended up waiting for Imz and Omz(HAHA weird names) at the wrong side of the bus stop and felt really stupid.

Reached RP and hour later than the time we were suppose to meet the rest. Most of the kids there were really really cute and i felt like hugging them so badly. But, turns out you can't judge a book by its cover. What looked so cute, innocent and cuddly may turn out to be evil tiny beings. There were some really nice ones, some shy ones and some are really irritating and i can say that most of us felt like...gahhhhh!

By the end of the day, i was so tired and was forcing myself to walk to the inter. WHY DIDN'T OMAR DRIVE TO SCHOOL? Zzz. Honestly, I was kind of expecting the event to be more interesting but it was just like ok. Nothing out of the ordinary.

But lesson learnt, teach your kids well so that in the future they will grow up to be really nice and good people. (; Ok then, gonna head to bed to sleep.

Goodnight Lovelys.

Questions

2011-11-28T05:52:00.000-08:00

finally laughed. it's been a while. wanted to lay low for some time to see who needs me when i don't come and find them. i kinda feel tired about being the one looking for that something/someone but i realised they never really cared in the end.

So what's the point?

I don't really know what's wrong with me these days. Even i know that i'm not myself. Is it because i'm losing hope? Or is it because there was no so called "hope" in the first place and i realised i knew it all along that it was never gonna happen, ever.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not sad, or crying over this. I'm just trying to let out whatever i think that could be the cause for my behavior these days. I just hope things get better.

Goodnight lovelys.

Big Fat Cat

2011-11-28T05:31:00.000-08:00

Enjoyed my weekends coz the whole time i was lazing around on the couch watching some Disney princess movies. My brother thinks i had a deprived childhood pfft whatever he's just jealous.

Ok then, so watched breaking dawn on Sunday and i think that Kristen Stewart looked prettttyyy hottt in the show. Like seriously, i didn't know she was that hot. Can't wait for the next one nyehehehehehehe the show was quite awesome and it left everyone hanging at the last part. i think that it's a must watch if you read the book and you loved it.

Currently with Omar and some loser(Imran) at Wendy's while omar's doing work and Imz's is annoying me. It's almost 10 and i dont feel tired yet. Dad just pulled a prank call on me just now and i think its lame but kinda funny. IT MAKES HIM A COOL DAD. <3

See ya lovelys.

Walk the Moon

2011-11-14T16:03:00.000-08:00

Currently in class now, I'm bored and I feel like posting. And thanks to Shafique, I had MacDonalds Breakfast today which was not planned. But thanks anyways XD

The past few days was ok i guess. Stayed back to watch Big Bang Theory while the rest did their work. I thought that Financial Accounting UT yesterday was easy. (: Ok, maybe it's too early to say anything but it's the fact. I so think i'm going to fail my HTM UT coz most of my answers were totally different than the correct ones. So dead.

Anyways, I can't seem to be able to upload the photos taken on Farah's birthday and in class and I have no idea how to change the format or how to view it. It says I need to have some Nikon software to view the photos. Zzz. This is so troublesome k.

So, I think I feel a bit better now, after telling another person about it <3 It's like making my life easier without holding in so much. But maybe it's a bit awkward now? I dunno. Heh.

See ya lovelys.

Tired & Confused

2011-11-12T03:47:00.000-08:00

Wow, i'm so so tired from working today. 6am to 7pm and i'm getting like 50 bucks only. This sucks. What to do, I have to help my mum out at work coz she can't do much work with her feet still recovering. So I have to help from morning till 7plus. Sighzz.

But the thing is, I have been waking up at 6am everyday, even though its not a school day, and sometimes because of this job, I have to give up my holidays. So, while everyone's enjoying their holiday, I'm at work. It's like a little unfair you know. I'm still 17, I should get my own time for myself. Dad always says, I have to help, coz this job is where our money comes from. If my parents didn't have this job, we wouldn't even be staying in this house with all the bills and stuff unpaid. So i guess, its for the best.

Anyways, Imran gave me some ideas today. About how I can say it out, or how I can tell the truth about my feelings. It was kind of a funny idea, but somehow I think that there's a 60% chance that it could work. But naah, I don't want to risk it. I think I'd keep my feelings to myself coz I don't want to risk my friendship.

Ok then, gonna stop here. Dead tired, so I think I'm gonna take a shower and then head to bed.

Goodnight lovelys.

Old School

2011-11-11T08:13:00.000-08:00

I feel like I really wanna buy one of these...

Make a Wish

2011-11-11T06:07:00.000-08:00

Everyone in my class was wishing for something today. Everyone was like "Eh! 11:11am! Wishwish!" Or something like that. I think it's cool that they're making wishes on the 11th Nov 2011 at 11:11. (: Even I made a wish at that point of time. Even though I don't think its ever gonna come true. But what the heck, just trying my luck :>

It's a Friday today! So, i was hoping we would go out somewhere after school but instead it was the usual. Doing work in the library, like good students. And of all days, today i finished my RJ, Quiz and Evaluation in class so at the library I had nothing to do. Zzzz. While the rest were doing their work, i was busy trying find a website to watch "The Big Bang Theory" coz everyone is saying that it's super funny. (: so yeah, that was mostly how i spent my day in the library. Hehhh.

I think my mood kind of changed at the end of the day. Maybe coz I wasn't feeling so well, or I think I was thinking too much. It's kinda hard keeping it to myself, coz I can't tell anyone about it. I wish i could just go for it, and let it out. But what to do, they're just wishes. Doesn't mean it will come true. Sighhzz. Oh well, the story of my life for now. /: Till the next post.

Goodnight lovelys.

Amour à Paris

2011-11-10T06:02:00.000-08:00

How i wish...

2011-11-10T05:25:00.000-08:00

Je voudrais être à Paris en ce moment.

Me and Izz were talking about having a holiday overseas with the rest and i really think it would be a great idea. But, the problem is my parents will never let me go. Sigh. If only i had the money and freedom to travel around as i please.

So yeah, we were talking about how it would feel like if we were to travel to Paris together with the others. We would just be relaxing and chilling at the cafes, beside the Eiffel tower maybe, chatting away and laughing. Oh, how cool and awesome would that be. (: Being away from families for a while, having your own freedom to do anything, exploring the cities, going around the town to shop. O-M-G, it's really like too awesome and i feel like screaming now coz I REALLY REALLY WANT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

Well, one day i MUST travel with my friends, hehe when i'm 21 maybe then maybe my parents would give me permission to go. I want to travel before i start working, or whenever i'm free. Road trips would also be really great. Sigh, i think my Hospitality and Tourism Module has suddenly got me thinking about going on trips. And my UT sucked k. I think i should stop here before I really start screaming, haha. So till the next post (:

Goodnight lovelys.

Playing in My Head

2011-11-09T06:31:00.000-08:00

Florence + The Machine - Shake it Out

Snow Patrol - Called Out in The Dark

You

2011-11-09T06:04:00.000-08:00

You will never see it. You're so oblivious to how i feel. I just wish i could have the courage to go up to you and say whatever i want to say. But i don't think it'll ever happen. ):

Friends who make you laugh

2011-11-08T16:54:00.000-08:00

The start of today was a little confusing haha. Ended up in the wrong class and at the wrong time. I hate RP's timetable coz its damn confusing. One day they change the lesson, the next day they don't. Since i was too lazy to check the timetable for today, i was kinda thinking that i was in the right class all along and my classmates are late.

And then i realised i didn't bring the 20bucks mum gave me to pay imran and my school pocket money. So i'm broke for the day. However, Rachel, Leon and Shafiq were too nice to lend me some money later. Hehhehehe. Especially Leon and Shafiq. Waah, like 2 angels. Fighting to lend me money. Lol. I was laughing to myself in class watching them fight on twitter. But it's really sweet you know, they've never been this nice to me. Okay, maybe once or twice but it's a rare thing. hehehe. I'm somewhat enjoying the "power" i have over them. These two would be so careful of whatever they say to me to avoid getting me upset. So they'll apologise to anything(: But guyz, if you're reading this blog, it's not your fault! So you don't have to feel guilty about it alright? :D

And omg, I have Hospitality & Tourism Management UT tmrw, and i'm so not ready for it. I don't even know how to study for it. So i'll just pray hard that the questions that come out tmrw are easy, plzplzplz. XD

So now, i'm watching Twilight: New Moon, with my siblings and i realised how cheeky the show was. Hahaha. Ok then, gonna continue watching the movie, till the next post.

Goodnight lovelys.

Brand New Chapter

2011-11-08T07:34:00.000-08:00

This is the start of something new.

I suddenly have the urge to create a new blog so I decided to create this one. The old blog is dead, really dead and i feel kind of weird reading back all my old posts and thinking to myself, how lame and foolish i was back then 3 years ago. Sighzz.

Anyways, since its the start of a new blog, i'll give some intro.

I'm Nadiah, 17 this year and is currently schooling at Republic Polytechnic, Singapore. I really love school cozzz of all my friends. <3 I lovelove photography and all sort of things that are related to Arts. I'm no art student but i wish i was one. Too bad, i don't have that great of a talent. Heh. I like any kind of music, alternative, rock, indie and so on..

So yeah. That's about it, a short intro. (:

It's a short post, coz my mind's blank, and its currently 11.41pm now. Will post some other time then, and i hope it would be a more interesting post.

Goodnight world.